Working Through Self-Isolating Habits
Give Yourself Grace: Self-Isolation… It Just Kind of Happens
It's a strange feeling when you find yourself sitting in a quiet room, surrounded by the stillness of your own space. You start to notice things you've let sit for far too long—unfinished projects, unread books, or even that laundry you've been meaning to fold. It's as if you're trapped in a loop of self-isolation, actively avoiding engagement with the world, only to feel the sting of loneliness creeping in. The more you pull away, the deeper that feeling of isolation grows, and it becomes a cycle that's hard to break.
For me, self-imposed isolation often begins with a mix of stress, disappointment, and conflict—usually stemming from miscommunication or misunderstanding. It’s never just one thing; it’s everything all at once. It’s the pressure from work, the weight of an endless to-do list, the struggle to be the mom I want to be. It’s the constant awareness of it all, all the time. My mind shuts down, and I find comfort in focusing on future priorities while also indulging in current vices. I just kind of turn everything else off and retreat into my own space.
Side Note: This is why creating and cultivating a healthy, happy, and peaceful space is essential... but truth be told, my space is currently not that... not at home, at work, in my mind, in my heart, in my life... eee the ADHD spiral—I can’t.
But even in the midst of this chaos, I’m learning to give myself grace. I’m slowly becoming more aware of these habits and the triggers that lead me into isolation. Recognizing the problem is the first step, and from there, I’m setting small goals—responding to one text, tackling a single task. These tiny victories help me feel less overwhelmed and make the larger challenges seem a bit more manageable.
Self-isolation may feel like the easier path in the moment, but I’m realizing it only makes things harder in the long run. So, I’m working on pushing through the discomfort, re-engaging with the world, and creating a space—both physically and mentally—that nurtures me instead of isolating me. It’s about finding balance, giving myself permission to have those off days, and knowing that every small step forward is still progress.
Living more intentionally has become an important part of my journey. Recently, I had a conversation with a close friend who runs her own business, and she mentioned how her goal is to meet people where they are. She wants people to come as they are, and that really resonated with me. It made me think about how we often hold ourselves back, constrained by the expectations we've internalized from society.
If you're like me—someone who feels disciplined and managed by these societal expectations—it can be difficult to break free and just be yourself. But I've realized the importance of regularly updating those expectations. Whether it's annually, monthly, weekly, or even daily, doing so helps maintain the momentum of growth, both professionally and personally. It keeps relationships and connections alive, allowing for continuous development.
Being uncomfortably self-aware, as I often am, is both a blessing and a curse. It's easy to get caught up in every little moment, scrutinizing each action and decision. But if you have expectations for yourself, it's crucial to adjust them as needed to keep growing.
Writing this is part of my effort to break out of the self-isolation cycle. By sharing these vulnerable areas of my life, I hope to not only help myself but also to offer something meaningful to others who might be struggling with the same issues. We're all just trying to find our way, and sometimes, it takes a little vulnerability to truly connect and grow
Circle of Life tool—
One of the tools that has helped me on this journey is something called the Circle of Life. It's a simple yet powerful exercise designed to give you a snapshot of how you're doing in different areas of your life. The tool consists of 12 sections, representing aspects such as creativity, spirituality, finances, health, and relationships.
Here's how it works: You place a dot in each section to show how satisfied you are with that part of your life. If the dot is closer to the center, it means you're not feeling so great about that area; if it’s near the outer edge, things are going pretty well. After connecting the dots, you'll have a visual representation of your "Circle of Life."
When I filled mine out, I noticed that certain areas like my career and education were fairly solid. But there were other sections—like my social life and home environment—that were lacking. This realization was a bit of a wake-up call. It reminded me of how easy it is to let some parts of life slide, especially when you're caught in that loop of self-isolation.
Using the Circle of Life Tool:
Identify the 12 Areas: Each segment represents a different part of your life. Common areas include:
Creativity
Spirituality
Finances
Health
Relationships
Career
Education
Home Environment
Social Life
Joy
Physical Activity
Home Cooking
Evaluate Satisfaction: Place a dot on each line to indicate your level of satisfaction in that area. The closer the dot is to the center, the less satisfied you are; the closer to the edge, the more satisfied.
Connect the Dots: After marking each area, connect the dots to see your "Circle of Life." Ideally, it should be a balanced, round shape. If it's uneven, this shows the areas where you may need to focus more attention.
Create an Action Plan: Reflect on the areas that need improvement and create an actionable plan to address them. For example, if your social life scored low, you might decide to schedule regular catch-ups with friends or join a club.
This tool is great for taking a step back and getting a big-picture view of your life. It's a reflective exercise that can help you identify which areas are thriving and which might need a little more care and attention.
The Multidimensional Health Tool
I also gave the Multidimensional Health Tool a go, and it was pretty eye-opening. It walks you through different aspects of your life—physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual—and asks you to rate how you’re feeling in each area. It’s like a little check-in with yourself to see where you’re doing great and where you might need a bit more attention.
For example, I realized that while I feel pretty connected to a sense of purpose and keep my mind active with new challenges, I’ve been slacking a bit on the physical side. Things like regular movement and staying hydrated could definitely use some work.
What I love about this tool is that it’s a good reminder to keep tabs on all the different parts of my life. When I’m feeling stuck or out of balance, it’s helpful to revisit these areas and use the insights to make small, manageable changes. Whether it’s taking a walk, drinking more water, or just taking a moment to breathe and reset, these little adjustments can make a big difference.